Dating in the later years as defined by the elusive Fermented Sister:
A conundrum of thoughts muddled with years of experiences resulting in a concoction that resembles a crazed control freak dragon breathing Zen peace loving tree hugger.
Do you set boundaries, or leave the gate open? Do you pursue a mate aggressively, or sit back and allow the universe to draw you together?
Let us look at the crazed control freak dragon breathing version. I have lived over 50 years and developed a list of likes and dislikes. Normal, nothing control freakish about this, however when applied to another human being, the fire breathing dragon does have a habit of making an appearance. Given one can only set expectation and controls on themselves, and at best in the process influence or inspire others to do or appreciate the same things, it is hard not evoke the dragon when hunting a suitable partner. Herein lies the key to effective dating, are you ready to receive the gift of a life time, the golden key to finding your soul mate, ….yeah right, like many other things in life I have lost the key and am now attempting to break into the vault with a bobby pin. Apparently my MacGyver skills are a tad rusty, and the ultimate solution sits but inches from my fingers tips, someone please toss me a fountain pen and a paper clip so I can unlock this mystical illusion I have in my head.
Is the key perhaps just that an illusion adrift in my head, and in reality all one has to do is take another step forward, or should that be a step in a different direction? If one seeks a change, one must be the change. Charlie Brown here we come, Oh Good Grief! The circle is indeed a tangled spiralling tunnel of conceptions and perceptions.
Of course now if we look at the Zen peace loving tree hugger, all is well, and one just needs to open their heart to love and the universe will deliver your spiritual life companion.
Hello, hello, are you there, hello universe, uggh just my luck another dropped call.
Mediation is a bit beyond my belief system, so if I open my heart to love and peer into my crystal ball I see myself on a bicycle surrounded with wine. Ahhhhh.
That is a clue people the Coffee Project is hitting the road next week, Okanagan Wine Fest here I come. Happiness after all is the doing the things that bring you joy.
L
fermentedsister 
Zen Peace Loving Tree Hugging Sister weighing in here. The universe is unfolding as it should. Quit looking and just be. Enjoy what each moment brings, whether that be a soul mate or a glorious single life. If you hate coffee shops, why look for a partner in one? Better you stumble upon him while biking a back country trail. At least you would have that in common. Besides you have an enviable life.
Today I celebrate 34 years of marriage. I am lucky, I have a good one. But even at that, life has its ups and downs. 34 happy years are only possible with compromise and a willingness to love someone with all their faults and not try to change them. Which is so much harder than it sounds. Especially since I too have a fire breathing control freak in me. But I am learning to channel the Zen Peace Loving Tree Hugger which is also in all of us. That is the secret to a truly happy life – alone or paired – being happy with yourself in this moment. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Just saying. Love you. D