fermentedsister

A wee bit of a hiatus taken from writing, as I try to find myself, you know dig deep go within oneself, find my purpose, and you know what, I found? There are 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, trillions of people, and men claim to not want drama, or baggage. What no drama, no jumping up and down in excitement, no expression of a opinion that aligns with your heart, no tears of joy or sorrow. Really, you would be over the moon happy with a human being who resembled a zombie or a well medicated person on antidepressants than someone who is able to express excitement or emotions. I guess than I will remain single as I would rather throw myself to the wolves than live a life void of dramatic experiences.
Baggage is the badge of living, I will admit some people haul their’s around as if it’s a burden rather than taking responsibility for their current position and using that baggage to stand on and reach for something new that previously was out of their grasp. If you want me to leave my baggage at the door, sorry that baggage is why I am me and I would be silly to throw it away to please someone else. Therefore I will remain single.
Weeks of inner thought has taught me that their is no “purpose” in life that one should spend hours seeking, rather it’s about seeking new thoughts, filling my world with exciting and emotional events that will propel me to experience a world I have yet to actively participate in. It is about keeping my baggage, my life lessons, my baggage is my passport, my document of proof of where I have been, and where I can go.
So if one must remove drama or toss ones baggage in order to please someone else I say I will stay single and keep pushing the limits till that persons tosses their baggage on top of mine so together we can reach places neither one of us would have been able to attain alone.
Happiness is never settling for normal.

“The more I live, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I realize, the less I know.”

– Michel Legrand

Fresh Okanagan air, winding vineyard roads with Ethel (my bicycle), countless wine tasting, time with friends, time alone and the above quote is as close as I came to finding me.

Politician bash each other, mass gun shootings make the news more than they should, people are demanding their spiritual, cultural beliefs are honored seemly over my own beliefs, they squabble over GMOs, CEOs, falling economics, one should mediate more, find oneself, live in the moment, having a glass of wine a day is good for you, more is bad, should marijuana be legalized, dear god we are still debating abortions. Pipe lines, processed food, environmentally sustainability, paleo verses vegan diets, and one wonders why they are confused. Easy Peasy…. Break the confusion and go within. My Dad eyes just rolled in his grave, what do you mean find the time to meditate? There are cows to feed, crops to tend to; my grandparents spent their free time ensuring the wood pile was stocked for winter. All the luxuries we have today, we had to invented a new trend, a hype to make ourselves feel useful.  Suddenly we are all Buda monks becoming yoga masters, meditating, feng shuiing our home, manifesting our destinies.

People say they are kind and see the positive while occupying an entire afternoon complaining about some god forsaken situations. Helicopter parents, sanitizers, you need antibiotics because you have a cold, and when did blaming someone become the new in thing rather than assuming full responsibility for your actions. After al it was a choice you made that got you where you are.

Have I made it clear why we/I are/am so confused, and I am wondering why I am still single, yup definitely a bwahahaha moment? The world is a tad messy, throw in the towel or keep swimming?  I will keep swimming, alone or with someone I still have a few items on my bucket I am eager to pursue .

Happiness is knowing regardless how yucky things may seem there is something exciting about dreaming of new possibilities!

Source: The Coffee Project 8th edition

Dating in the later years as defined by the elusive Fermented Sister:
A conundrum of thoughts muddled with years of experiences resulting in a concoction that resembles a crazed control freak dragon breathing Zen peace loving tree hugger.
Do you set boundaries, or leave the gate open? Do you pursue a mate aggressively, or sit back and allow the universe to draw you together?
Let us look at the crazed control freak dragon breathing version. I have lived over 50 years and developed a list of likes and dislikes. Normal, nothing control freakish about this, however when applied to another human being, the fire breathing dragon does have a habit of making an appearance. Given one can only set expectation and controls on themselves, and at best in the process influence or inspire others to do or appreciate the same things, it is hard not evoke the dragon when hunting a suitable partner. Herein lies the key to effective dating, are you ready to receive the gift of a life time, the golden key to finding your soul mate, ….yeah right, like many other things in life I have lost the key and am now attempting to break into the vault with a bobby pin. Apparently my MacGyver skills are a tad rusty, and the ultimate solution sits but inches from my fingers tips, someone please toss me a fountain pen and a paper clip so I can unlock this mystical illusion I have in my head.
Is the key perhaps just that an illusion adrift in my head, and in reality all one has to do is take another step forward, or should that be a step in a different direction? If one seeks a change, one must be the change. Charlie Brown here we come, Oh Good Grief! The circle is indeed a tangled spiralling tunnel of conceptions and perceptions.
Of course now if we look at the Zen peace loving tree hugger, all is well, and one just needs to open their heart to love and the universe will deliver your spiritual life companion.
Hello, hello, are you there, hello universe, uggh just my luck another dropped call.
Mediation is a bit beyond my belief system, so if I open my heart to love and peer into my crystal ball I see myself on a bicycle surrounded with wine. Ahhhhh.
That is a clue people the Coffee Project is hitting the road next week, Okanagan Wine Fest here I come. Happiness after all is the doing the things that bring you joy.

L

Well, back at the coffee project, more research, men if you want females head to the Maritimes, women go west, seek out small towns they are full of available men. I am sitting out west in a small town and in this coffee shop there are 6 other people, all female, yup so much for statistics.
Do I go back to the drawing board, come up with a new plan to get me seen, whatever sun is shining I would rather be out cycling than attempting to scheme up ways to meet possible male partners.
Happiness is fresh air and sunshine, all these possible men will just have to wait, this chic is peddling to her own beat today
Yes, I will admit this weeks coffee project was a complete bust. Main reason, was I was just not in to it. Is it my past that is preventing me from moving forward, sure I left a controlling self-esteem destroying relationship which has caused some reflective and cognitive thinking sessions. It is done and over I can now see where I allowed and fostered certain behaviours to manifest, am I putting off a new relationship in fear I will fall back into old patterns, or does the playing field in this quaint little mountain town just suck.

Did you know 27.6 % of Canadians live alone, and this percentage is steadily on the incline; so is the search for the Ultimate soul passé? Have I missed the boat.  Over the age of 60 this percentage greatly increases for single females, oiy vey this is getting depressing, should I just throw in the towel, buy a cat and settle into a life of a crazy cat lady. Which I may add does have a strange appeal to it, except for my weird aversion to hair.

Is there reason why more and more people are living alone, am I missing the advantages of living alone by contemplating wanting perhaps to be with another.  I do like living alone, why?

Being single means out of the 24 hours in a day you are the sole owner of all 24 hours. Where you go is where you want to go, what you do is what you want to do. Oh yes all those little self help books/articles tell you to go find yourself. Let me just say after looking for over 50 years all I have ever found were some well aged dust bunnies. For me this is more like the time to allow yourself to live, to fulfill your dreams. Friends, they are all yours, there is no need for you to tolerate anyone, the people in your life are there because you want them to be there. Travel on a whim, be spontaneous, try something new, explore, implore, these are all very realistic expectations one can set for themselves when you are single and you only have to ask permission from one person, you!

So why am I looking if being single is so flipping awesome?…….. I miss that excited feeling you get when someone you are attracted to walks into the room. There is a unique feeling of being in love that super imposes the aspects of life, I miss those butterflies.
And So it is back to the coffee project, I may be paddling up a creek with no paddles, and yet for now it is where I want to be, in a position to see, meet or bump into a possibility.
Happiness is finding another reason to smile.

One month into the project and the Coffee Project just got real, yes REALLy. I met someone for coffee, a genuine live male person.
Oh Lordy me. As I was getting ready I was going through my head wardrobe options, make up or none, dam if I had a bit more time I may have been able to wax my legs, do a pedicure. To be honest the leg waxing thing for me is a bit of a farce as I have virtually hairless legs and what little there is, is blonde, to see it you basically have to be nose length away from them, this was just a casual meeting, the chance of a close encounter was rare, no sense worrying about that. Make up, yeah no I was cycling to the coffee shop best to avoid any mascara malfunctions What yo wear well bright and cheerful, shorts as it is summer. I could of had more get ready time, however to met my own happiness goals I squeezed in a gym work out. Why am I putting this much effort into this, just do what the guy is going to, shower and put on clean clothes.

Well now that was my first error, assuming clean clothes would be more or less a mandatory selection for meeting someone for the first time. Am I setting standards too high, is a three day warning to meet too little of time to plan for a clean wardrobe. I am not expecting persons to show up in Gucci, a clean Walmart T-shirt is totally acceptable.
So this raised a whole new set of questions, am I listing myself in a high maintenance field because I like clean! I have had conversations suddenly end when I mention neat, and orderly. Sure skip the dusting this week, but clothes should be in closets or in a basket, dishes done daily, sinks/, showers, tubs free of hair and grim, fridge science projects are for 16 year olds, and floors swept or vacuumed. Simple housekeeping, and that goes for the human body as well, manscaped, and showered on a regular basis. I really need to do a survey to see if I am being outright ridiculous for wanting this. Oh oh oh Calgon take me away!
Happiness is cleanliness

An entire week of company, who has time for coffee shop leisure time when there is laundry to do. I chose to skip the coffee project this week, not because of laundry but because I was very content with my life. Time over and over again as I analyze different peoples lives I find that being single and childless is pretty gosh darn fabulous.

I am really struggling with this need “to find someone” I mean let’s face it the only thing I am truly missing in my life is a warm blooded sexual partner. I welcome the opinion of others, what is it that makes you want to be with someone else in a relationship? How does being with another person make you whole? Take away society stereo typing, and do we truly need someone else to feel whole or is this insecurity a behaviour that is product of someone else’s thoughts.

I feel complete, I get to do what I want when I want to. Why in the world am I looking for someone where I now will have to compromise that, oh wait that warm hug, a sensual kiss, dam those affectionall desires……! Happiness is finding balance amid the emotional and rational chaos we call life.